November 8, 2008 at 7:39 am #281855jaymesMember
:kiss::kiss::kiss::kiss: beautiful children *tickle tickle tickle* 😆November 9, 2008 at 12:14 pm #281856beccaMember
Herbie,your post left a lump in my throat… I know you guys have had your ups and downs and I think that your boy is just such a credit to you and your DW. He’s grown into a wonderful young man, congratulations!
hope you are still getting some time for yourselves, take care :hug:November 9, 2008 at 9:18 pm #281857BronMember
beautiful!!!September 2, 2010 at 7:57 pm #281858HerbmanMember
I just rediscovered this thread and can’t believe it’s been 4 years since my young man was expelled from school and started to blossom like he has.
It sometimes feels like only yesterday that his mum and I were intimately acquainted with the failings of our school system. But then, it also feels like a life-time ago that she and I were stuck in the place of drowning in our fears, guilt and frustration.
So much has changed since my last update in late 2008. We live in our new home and DS has his own permanent rental too. He now has 3 kids and we so hope he stops there. He has a new job and this time it’s permanent. And, much to his joy, he has his own flash car (very important for 19 year old boys 😉 )
What I love about my son is that no matter how bad things seem to get, he always finds a way to turn the most rotten things into the best things for him.
Last I wrote, my son’s biological father came back into the picture. DS spent some time getting to know his “father” and gave him a really good shot. Then he walked away because he realised that he is lucky that man was never his dad. I think knowing his “father” has been in and out of prison and is a drug addict made him determined to do better for himself and thankful for his mum and me.
DS also had a few jobs since I last wrote. I lost count somewhere along the way – that’s how it is with early school leavers and it’s ok. He now has a great job in an inbound call centre where he is a team leader. It’s the perfect job because he gets to talk ALL day 😆 . He’s permanent and on GREAT money.
Before that, however, he had a job in a chicken factory and was sacked while on compo after breaking his toe. It devastated and emasculated him. But that experience caused him look outside the unskilled / semi-skilled labour market for a new direction. Best thing he’s ever done. Apparently he’s now even studying business at TAFE to further his career at the call centre.
I never realised it when he was young, but my young man has the most beautiful soul. For someone to go through the hardships he’s experienced to be the man he is today amazes me. For him to forgive our failings as a parent and to always be willing to reach out and patch up any fights – that always teaches me so much.
He’s no angel. My boy and his girlfriend still have some shocking fights. He still knows how to push my buttons. But these days he shares more love than anger, and more insight than helplessness.
I know there are parents everywhere who struggle with their kids. It’s hard and lonely sometimes. Don’t ever give up. No matter how much they hurt you or how futile it seems.
My boy went from making me feel helpless, hurt, angry and desperate to being one of the men I most admire. Yours will too.
PS: I recently learned my son believes in the power of wishes and dreams. The kind you make when you stand out in the elements and send up to the Universe. As a man who also believes in these things I know he will be okay so long as he stays connected to his spirit like that.September 2, 2010 at 9:55 pm #281859MumchookMember
Lovely post, Herby… makes me want to give you a big hug!
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