December 27, 2009 at 11:49 pm #448553KirstyMember
:hug::hug::hug: s Chooken:kiss:December 27, 2009 at 11:57 pm #448554narellehMember
you have my support with whatever you decide and do
Baby steps remember – don’t take on the WHOLE thing at once – break into down into smaller steps to take at a time:hug:December 28, 2009 at 12:08 am #448555bluezbanditMember
Hi chooken :hug::hug::hug::hug:
Its amazing the resources that we women have within ourselves when times call for it. You will find inner strength and wisdom you never realised you had.
All my support and best wishes and make 2010 YOUR year.
DebDecember 28, 2009 at 1:23 am #448556salliMember
xxx:hug::hug::hug:xxx:hug::hug::hug:xxxDecember 28, 2009 at 1:37 am #448557weaverMember
Before you make any moves find someone to talk to and get as much info as you can. Go to Centrlink and ask to make an appt with their social worker to find out what you will be entitled to in terms of rental assistance etc. Make sure you talk to your husband too and let him know exactly how you are feeling. It may be enough to get him to agree to counselling if he realises just how serious you are about making your life and your sons life better. Good luck with your decision making and I hope it all works out for you. :hug::hug:December 28, 2009 at 2:02 am #448558Gothic Mumma 4 LifeMember
Im really sorry you are going through this :hug::hug:
EDITED to add: Can you look into a womans refuge or such? They will help with things for the children and services ect if you feel overwhelmed?
Info on Carer payment
Info on carer allowence
You will be able to get both im sure :hug:
Ring Disability, Sickness and Carers 13 2717 (Enquiries about Disability Support Pension, Mobility Allowance, Carer Payment, Carer Allowance, and Sickness Allowance.)
Ask for those forms or go into your office.
If you dont have your DD maybe sujest these to your husband so he isnt so stressed over money for her needs?
No matter what happens it will be ok for you :hug:December 28, 2009 at 4:09 am #448559jaymesMember
:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:December 28, 2009 at 4:57 am #448560shadowdancerMember
I don’t think a refuge will take you, due to your sons age? you’ll have to look into that. I know that here in NSW there are restrictions for women with sons. Only very young sons can stay with their mother’s. Anyway, Good Luck with the situation, and hope that all is not lost, and that you can find good advice from Social Services or Centrelink.
:hug: :hug: :hug:December 28, 2009 at 5:06 am #448561grassrootsMember
Ten years ago I also left my husband and eventually left my son with him. He has Aspergers(mild) and ADHD. He was getting more violent with his bigger sister. My daughter came out of her shell, and was a different person. Their were and still are repecusions, mainly about what other people thought and incorrect information they tell the children and others. I did what I thought best for the children, I wish you all the best for your future. When things get tough, keep in mind that you made the best decision based on your childrens needs.December 28, 2009 at 7:46 am #448562littlelionsmaMember
You have obviously thought long and hard and are looking at all the intelligent options..at times like this you have to think with your head, I feel. I left my little lions father when I was six months pregnant and in Istanbul. I hightailed it home due to similar circumstances and used my head for the decision of raising my son on my own with no father rather than one who would potentially do more harm than good. I too left a veeery comfortable life and all my possesions to start over again at the age of 36. It’s got its hard moments but it can be done and I firmly believe it is harder to find a stronger and more determined creature than a mother. :tup:
Sending you lotsa :hug::hug::hug:’s chooken and wish you the very best. xxDecember 28, 2009 at 7:56 am #448563maestroandmeMember
nothing to add but hugs:hug::hug::hug:December 28, 2009 at 9:18 am #448564crittoMember
try the domestic violence line 24 hr (DOCs) its anonymous and they are able to talk through options and services available in your area
1800 656 463
best of luckDecember 28, 2009 at 10:43 am #448565LotteMember
I just wanted to offer you some support, as I really don’t know what else to tell you. You sound like a smart and dedicated woman and someone not at all worthy of being treated like a turd. I hope you find refuge somehow. If Brisbane were to appeal to you (which I doubt, given the situation with your daughter) then, whilst our house may be small, there’s a room here for you.
I hope it all works out for you – however that may be.
Take care of yourself.
LotteDecember 28, 2009 at 7:26 pm #448566MagpieMember
Chooken, one of my favourite sayings is “fear of the unknown out-weighs hatred of the known ten to one”.
It’s good to see you are really thinking things through and I’m sure you will make the right decision, even if it is very tough to do so. Change is always difficult, but if things are not good as they are, what choice do you have?
Hang in there, and keep us posted please – it obvious there’s a lot of us here who care. :hug::hug::hug:December 28, 2009 at 9:26 pm #448567RobyneMember
After reading your letter yesterday I was talking to hubby about it and how hard it would be to make up ones mind to do what you have decided to do.
He did make a comment on your daughters safety. If your husband is as bad as you are saying wouldn’t take it out more on your daughter and she wouldn’t be able to help herself. Sorry I have seen it happen before.
2 of the girls at work have left their husbands and left the kids behind. Both never get to see their children as one partner took off with them. The other gives all kinds of excuses to for her not to see them, so she has to go to court to get to see her sons. in the meantime she has to pay support for them.
There is support out there more than when my sister went through simalar times. Like a lot of the other writers have said to go to different places and ask for help. My friends daughter had a 10 year old 6-5 years old all boys and they went into a refuged but it was here in SA.
Your son will adjust to a new school so if you move away he will live through it. A lot of teachers are trained in this case and help the kids adjust.
My thoughts are with you:hug:
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