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Homeschooling and socialisation skills

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Viewing 9 posts - 1 through 9 (of 9 total)
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  • #252965
    LindyChookLindyChook
    Member

    I am always being asked how my children will learn how to socialise. It drives me nuts as they do socialise every day either between themselves (I have 2 x twins a year apart) or with people we know/meet when we are out and about. I am always being told how lovely/great/wonderful my kids are so what do they mean about learning social skills if they have just had a conversation with one of my kids getting that impression? Socialisation seems to be the only topic when it comes to my kids educational performance!!!!!! Anyone else experience this???

    #474111
    osakasuzosakasuz
    Member

    There is also a theory that sending kids to conventional school ‘unsocialises’ them, ie. they become negatively socially adapted through being in a competitive environment with peers who are all the same age.

    #474112
    LindyChookLindyChook
    Member

    I have always believed the ed depts have it wrong and classes should be made up of similar abilities instead of age groups! Same age peers bullied my kids out of school but they are learning more at home and are becoming very nice people for it. I just wish people would stop asking about their need to socialise!!!! If they were at school they would be too withdrawn to socialise with anyone and would be going backwards!!! The real problem is, I feel, Im starting to doubt what Ive been trying to achieve each time I hear the comment!!

    #474113
    nimmnimm
    Participant

    You’re not going to be able to have people understand with just a simple response to these types of passing comments. If something isn’t mainstream people automatically think something is wrong with it and there are these stereotypical questions that spring to mind. Unless it’s someone you know who’s taking an actual interest then it doesn’t even matter how you respond! Otherwise, of course explain that you aren’t raising your kid in a sealed box and they get to talk to other people including participating in activities with other kids etc… FYI we’re looking at homeschooling (son is still a bit young) so we get these questions as well.

    It’s the same as when it comes up that I’m vegan, people wonder where I get my protein (or iron, or whatever) despite the evidence that I’m not dead, talking to them, and a very fit/active cyclist it doesn’t seem to be enough – and been vegan for years.

    #474114
    grumpy3grumpy3
    Member

    I used to get the comments about home schooling as well but most of the time it was from family. My reply to the family was why would I want my kids attending a state school and brought up with such a narrow minded outlook on life. Sometimes they would say how will they be able to fit in at uni. I then told them that I don’t want my kids restricted in there learning by attending a uni. If they got smart I just told them to go away and get some common sense and then they might have half a brain to understand why we home school.

    #474115
    MumchookMumchook
    Member

    My children are past school age now and only the two youngest were home educated, in their high school years. They were both becoming more and more withdrawn at school and being out of that situation has been good for them.

    I could go on and on about the quite negative aspects of school “socialisation” but the bottom line, I guess, is that people are apprehensive of those who step out of the norm and whilst I don’t think they really mean to be critical (although some sure are!!), it seems to raise issues of almost shock in some (“why would anyone want to spend that much time with their kids” ), jealousy (“I wish I could afford to be at home and be with my kids” ) and defensiveness in that your choice to home school seems to them to attack school, and as they send their children to school it feels as if YOU are attacking THEIR choices. Does that make sense? Not a scientifically based theory but one I’ve observed time and again. 😆

    Family and close friends who care about you and your children probably only want the best outcomes for your children, however the best outcome for you may be to take them out of school and that’s what they find hard to understand. They’re probably concerned that your kids won’t get good jobs and will get left behind somehow, however in my experience it’s been quite the opposite with my own children and the homeschooled children I have had the pleasure of knowing. One of my sons got into both TAFE and a private college with no school ceritificates whatsoever and another is planning on going to Uni next year. Home education is absolutely no barrier to university entry or higher education if that’s what they want to do!

    If you want some printed information about socialisation or links to good articles online, please send me a PM with your email address.

    In the meantime, try and deflect the comments with something along the lines of: “I have done a lot of research into this and it’s something I’d like to try for my children; if it doesn’t work out then I will send them back to school”. This may help quell their thoughts that you have lost your mind and that you are open to other options!

    All the best!

    Ree

    #474116
    osakasuzosakasuz
    Member

    …our choice to home school seems to them to attack school, and as they send their children to school it feels as if YOU are attacking THEIR choices.

    A very wise person said to me recently that when listening to what people say, you should also be listening for whythey might be saying it and what it tells you about them, their personality or their feelings.

    #474117
    grumpy3grumpy3
    Member

    osakasuz wrote:

    …our choice to home school seems to them to attack school, and as they send their children to school it feels as if YOU are attacking THEIR choices.

    A very wise person said to me recently that when listening to what people say, you should also be listening for whythey might be saying it and what it tells you about them, their personality or their feelings.

    I guess thats correct in both cases. The first one probable does feel there choice is being attacked. But they go the extra step in trying to control you in what you want to do.

    The second case really does give you eye sight into there real feelings. Thats when you realise that the person you are talking to is most likely puting you down . I have experienced this first hand from family and what they are really saying is. You don’t think you are smart enought to teach your kids do you.

    I tell you it can get you worked up some times when its family.

    #474118
    GirlFridayGirlFriday
    Member

    We copped that old nugget too- I got tired of it- its right up there with the comment inquiring about whether we had a tv because we had four children. I found the best way to deal with that one was, with a perfectly straight face say of course you have a tv and do they know how many channels of porn you can get on pay tv these days? LOL!! The look on their faces was priceless.

    A no other stage in a child’s life will they mix with only people his/her own age. Going out and doing family stuff and going to homeschooling gathers are plenty of socialisation. I have strong aspie tendencies myself- both sons are diagnosed so to be honest sometimes I think socialisation is HIGHLY overrated.

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