November 29, 2011 at 8:14 pm #256156
Just wanting suggestions as to how much board per week I should ask from my 17 yo teenager?? He has his own room. I don’t want to charge too little, cause I don’t want him to stay for ever! Also he needs to understand the real cost of living. I don’t want to charge too much, although that overseas holiday would be nice! :woohoo: Thanks in advanceNovember 29, 2011 at 8:22 pm #515252
I don’t yet have kids, but my thoughts would be depending on a few things. ie. how much he contributes around the house, what would he pay in rent elsewhere, how much is he home, what does he use at home (food, water, electricity etc), does he have a stable job, what is he like at saving money.
I’d rather have them pay less and build up a decent deposit for a house/land/investment, but then if they have an unstable job, are hopeless savers, then perhaps I’d take a little bit more and put some aside for a rainy day on their behalf.November 29, 2011 at 8:56 pm #515253
When the time comes, I’d like to think I would ask him/her for a “fair amount for all parties” and then throw it into an account so that when he looks like buying his own property you can give him/her a gift of $$$$. This is money you are already paying at 16years + 364 days of age so you aren’t going to miss it… I know they eat so much but you are lucky to have him still at home… Teenage workers have to pay something but they don’t have to know they get it back… If they deserve it that is…. 👿November 29, 2011 at 9:00 pm #515254
I was charged by my parents 25% of my wage. I was also taught that 25% of my pay went into the bank, the same for a clothing allowance and the last for me to enjoy. Worked well for me and I learned how to budget as well.November 29, 2011 at 9:47 pm #515255
If my kids are working fulltime, I will be looking at asking for $100 a week, they couldnt rent a house or a room for that amount around here, that includes power, water and food.
If they arent working or working part time, we will come up with a figure between us
my 14 and 16 year old know what I am roughly expecting of themNovember 30, 2011 at 12:48 am #515256
25% of his take home pay. 🙂November 30, 2011 at 12:59 am #515257
I have 3 teens living at home, 15,17,19. All studying full time (if you consider Uni to be a full time commitment — not!) and all have part-time jobs. Because of our family income, they qualify for youth allowance, (about $250/fortnight for the 2 oldest) and that goes into the family account. We couldn’t survive financially otherwise! Thankfully they are all savers, and the eldest has a handy term deposit already that will more than pay for a decent car when he’s ready to move out. Teaching them the real value of wages by actually talking about how much money comes in and where the money goes is really important!December 2, 2011 at 11:51 pm #515258
I would like to know how you get your 17 yr olds to work!
I have one who has just left school for good, having failed his last year through sheer lack of motivation. It appears at this stage that he will be sitting on his bum in his room for the rest of his life playing computer games.
Ok, so maybe that’s an exaggeration, but right now, it sure feels like that’s how it’s going. Of course, since he is no longer a student, family payment has been cut for him – and since he’s home all the time, he’s eating much more and using more electricity than ever.
Taking over the thread with whinges tho, sorry.
I have explained to him that when he finds work he will be expected to pay board, the minimum of which will cover the replacement of the family payment we are no longer entitled to because he isn’t at school.
Problem is, I think that’s inspiring him NOT to find a job!December 3, 2011 at 12:00 am #515259
Ali, I feel for you. I am in a similar situation.December 3, 2011 at 2:22 am #515260
Humm feel for you both,went thru the same thing for about a week,then I wised up after I got home from a very long workday and there was a teenager lying around playing games,asking where his dinner was.TV and computer went outside in the shed,child was read the riot act and told to toughen up.People/teenages only treat you how YOU ALLOW them to treat you.So its basically you allowing the situation to happen,I know that sounds mean of me, but it took me awhile to see I was allowing this behaviour to continue.I understand there may not be jobs out there but clean the house,cook the meals and go help an old lady accross the street.That is my sermon for the day.
HTDecember 3, 2011 at 9:56 am #515261
I agree with HT. Children are very familiar with there own surroundings,and basically havent had much to do within that, except maybe clean their own room and learn to cook.Mothers will be mothers also and its difficult to be tough on them. Sadly mine all left home at 18 to go to Uni and never came back, except Christmas, and thankfully the eldest moved with his wife close by,10 years later.
My brothers 1st child was the difficult one so he sent both of them to Grandmas and grandpas for a month. Arent my parents the greatest. Well that sorted them out no computer, no messing about here Dad was strict with them. Dont eat till grandma sits down. Help wash and dry. Learnt to cook a meal, washed there own clothes etc etc.They took them on treats also to seem like a holiday,fishing ,boat rides,train excursions.
So thats my suggestion lol pity you cant all swap boys,as you would all treat the new comer differently, but if you can get one of your family to take them (as Mum needs a break )maybe just maybe they will see the light. :tup:December 3, 2011 at 10:11 am #515262
What a financial and emotional drain you guys are in atm… :hug:
It is hard when in the eyes of the powers that be you have to be ëarning or learning” to get any further support from them… I know that the learning part can’t be accessed till next year… On Worlds Strictest Parents” the kids are always taken to a soup kitchen, charity etc to help out and it gives them a different perspective on the world… Maybe something like this would give them something to do short term??
Other than that then if they’re home while you are out working (or even if your not) make them responsible for the kitchen. Menus, shopping (with supervision of course, otherwise you’ll be eating chips with everything or worse!! ), keeping it clean and tidy, cooking tea etc is their responsibility. You help with the washing up though, in a twist of roles.. Or maybe the laundry and the yard? It will give them skills as well as getting them off their bums, for part of the day at least… :whistle:
Technology is a big one with me as they can spend yours and hours and hours on one gadget or another… My Grade 8 kid was given a laptop from the school for next year and in the couple of days it’s already starting to cause problems… Then there is his PS3 and texting on his phone…. 👿 I know it’s going to get all kind of bad as on this computer I had a password so if I wanted peoples attention I could just log out…
Anyway I hope things get better!!! :hug:December 3, 2011 at 10:33 am #515263
I am so sorry that some of you are going thru tough times with your teens. Believe me, you are not alone! I have a number of friends with the same sorts of issues. There is help out there, however. There are parenting courses specifically tailored for your situation, and if you live in a country area without access to alot of the things we have access to in the city, you can at the very least ring the Parenting Helpline and they will have a place for you to start and quite possibly give you places on the net or in your local area you can go. I have a friend whose son is now 18 but with the same behaviours you’ve described, and sadly she has given up, saying he’s an adult now, and she can’t do anything to help him. So not true. As parents, there are always things we can do! And parenting certainly doesn’t end at 18.
I just don’t have the money to give my kids all the stuff they want. If they wanted their own computer, and the games to go with it, phones etc etc, they have had to get a job and work for them. If you’ve bought those things for your kids, and they are still in your care, then technically those things still belong to you, and like HT said, you have the right to remove them.
Parenting has got to be one of the (if not THE) toughest thing to do on the planet! Talking about what your going through and hearing what others have done is a great way to start finding solutions that work for you and your kids. Good on you for being brave enough to put it out there.December 3, 2011 at 11:58 am #515264
agree with HT, people will treat you the way you allow people too.December 3, 2011 at 1:09 pm #515265
‘25% of his take home pay’
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