December 25, 2011 at 8:05 pm #256292
🙁 Well this is a bit of a pity party for me…. My ExDH of 25 years (but we’ve been broken up for about 2yrs) has let the ds3 13 and dd11 call his friend of many years Aunty J… I’ve been recieving random texts from her (apparently for my ex) for many years before our breakup… A flurry of text around our break up as apparently “He needs her to get through this… “and “She’s been through it so lean on her”… Many years ago she came to me at the footy club, drunk as a skunk, and said how much she loved my then dh… ( her and his family sort of grew up together). Laughingly I asked her what she wanted me to do… Step aside? Smash her face? Funnily enough I’m not too concerned except the sheer dishonesty on his part… I sent the kids away with a curried prawns and a chocolate chiffon to His familys Chrissy gtg… DD11 said Aunty Julie needs the recipes and that’s when the penny dropped… Sorry if this doesn’t read right but I’ve had a couple…December 25, 2011 at 8:31 pm #516853mauziMember
Starting Over, I am not sure what to say here as it is a difficult situation for you but the only advice I could give you is to not dwell on the past, as hard as that is for you, because in the end, it will ruin your current life, and shadow your opportunities for peace and happiness. This sort of situation can, and often does, cause yourself illness and it also gives your exDH power over your current life. I hope that made sense. I have met many women who are embittered by their past situation and it is very sad to see that something in the past causes such grief and makes their futures very sad as well.December 25, 2011 at 8:42 pm #516854karyn26Member
I’m with Mauzi.
Dont let it take over your life.
You have been over for 2 years as you mentioned,time to gather yourself and your children and get on with a new phase in your lives.Make it a happy one not one dwelling on the past.Dust yourself off and show them you can do anything.
You dont have to like this person but the kids will have contact with her and will possibly enjoy her company,dont let them know your true feelings as then they will think they arent being faithful to you.
You dont have to share your recipes either ,they are yours she can find her own,she doesnt need everything of yours.
As your name on ALS stands for Startingover,then get going.December 25, 2011 at 11:01 pm #516855mistyhollowsMember
First of all :hug: Starting over. As hard as it is going to be though :whistle: you need to tell them what to do with their recipe request 😛 then Start Over, again.
You obviously still have to have contact with your ex through the kids so don’t let on to them how you feel (unless you may have already??). Yes he has been a scumbag but you deserve so much more. At least you know what they are both really like and know not to trust them.
Pick yourself up again and remember why you’re here on ALS and the lifestyle you want you and your children to live. :hug: :hug:December 26, 2011 at 9:02 am #516856
Thanks guys you are so right… I have moved on as much as I can atm… ex plays a few games (like telling dd we might get back together :sick: ) from time to time but I’m so over the drama iykwim that for the most part I ignore it…
I was a bit cheesed off to think she was eating the food I prepared but then to tell dd she wants the recipes was her way to let me know she’s on the scene… She can have him but not the recipes… Actually one I got from his Mum decades ago, pmlol…
:kiss: thanks for letting me vent…December 26, 2011 at 12:00 pm #516857gremmblesMember
Everyone needs to vent sometimes. I think getting it off your chest helps you get everything clear in your mind. As the others said, don’t live in the past and look to the future which I am sure will be bright.December 26, 2011 at 1:00 pm #516858luvinMember
hugs for youDecember 26, 2011 at 4:45 pm #516859ballamaraKeymaster
I agree with what mauzi said, don’t dwell on the past(Iknow that isn’t easy from experience)I found to keep your mind active and occupied, whether that is a class of some sort or a new hobby, helps. :hug: :hug: :hug:December 27, 2011 at 7:55 pm #516860
:hug: Thanks for the support guys… It’s strange that things like this still make me react….vDecember 28, 2011 at 1:30 am #516861GiannaMember
Hugs to you. :hug: :hug: :hug: By all means, give her the recipes (but leave ingredients out so that she stuffs it up LOL). 😛
It’s only been 2 years and that is not a long time so your feelings are probably still delicate. The only piece of good advice I can give you is to love your children more than you dislike what your exDH and Aunty Julie are up to. Don’t let the children have to choose sides or be privy to anything that might upset them. They love their father and they love you and they want you both to be happy. Everything passes and one day it won’t hurt anymore.December 29, 2011 at 11:17 am #516862RobyneMember
Best thing we do with our granddaughter and her mother is to let it be. She is only 6 now an saw through her mother a couple of years ago as what sort of person she is.
Kids aren’t stupid they know who is the best one for them. Don’t allow the kids to use and abuse you. I have seen it Dad buys me that. But Dad doesn’t pay a cent towards their up keep. My son has a friend whos X paid their kids to like him but it back fired on him and now they have nothing to do with him
My friend had the same problem with her X and in time it all fell apart with his new woman and then he wanted back and she just laughed at him. She threw a party for getting rid of her past and her kids were part of it. I think the last time I heard he was on his 4th marriage they all see through people like that.
you are the better person as you are the stronger person in this and you will come through it with your head held high and in your kids eyes you will be the hero not the ones like them :tup:
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