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  • #440131
    Carol
    Member

    That’s a great idea, Kasalia.:tup:

    forgive yourself too if it all becomes too hard to bear. There are times when we need to protect ourselves

    Yes, hillbilly girl, I’ll keep that in mind. Thanks.

    #440132
    Ggang
    Member

    Hi Carol

    one positive and very simple thing than can sometimes help is to get your mother to take B12.

    It is a fact that as people age their B12 levels get low especially in the brain, and low B12 does effect cognitive function. It isnt a cure and may or may not help but it is such a simple thing to give her a sublingual lozenge every day and it cannot do any harm.

    A friend on the net I knew many years ago found it helped her mum with AD a great deal.

    The most effect type is the methylcobalamin type not available inm Australia but easily purchased online from http://www.iherb.com

    My own mother had AD and passed away 5 years ago. I think the B12 used to help her a little but my father just wouldnt believe that a vitamin could help when the doctors couldnt so he didnt give it to her regularly enough:(

    :hug: Anne

    #440133
    Carol
    Member

    Thanks for that information and web link, Ggang.:wave:

    As well as B12, I’m thinking D3 may be helpful – http://www.naturalnews.com/026861_curcumin_vitamin_D3_disease.html

    I think I may well have a similar problem with my stepfather as you had with your father, Anne. There’ll be some sensitive negotiations ahead. As others have suggested, I’d like to get Mum to a good naturopath.

    #440134
    Shirley
    Participant

    :hug::hug:

    #440135
    Gianna
    Member

    Sometimes I think that in one way, dementia may be a kindness to the person suffering from it (not other people around this person)? It can’t be easy to live with the fear of dying at any moment but some dementia sufferers are completely unaware that they are old and may die soon.

    My aunt is 86. She doesn’t remember much of anything any more and is child-like in her happiness, most of the time. She lives with her son and my mum looks after her a great deal.

    Mum caught my auntie running away from home the other day. She had packed many changes of underwear, a banana, an apple and a sandwich. When my mum asked her why she was running away, my aunt said because there was too much work to do at this place. She was probably going to walk up the street to my mum’s house where there is nothing to do because mum does it all. :shy:

    #440136
    baringapark
    Member

    Gianna, that’s a lovely story! :hug:

    #440137
    Ggang
    Member

    I agree with Gianna…….. As AD progresses it is much harder on the family than on the sufferer. My mum lived in her own little world with no worries about her future. Eventually she passed away after a stroke fortunately before her AD got so bad that she had to go into a home. Now 5 years later my dad who is 94 and still mentally alert has had to go into a home and hates every minute of his life 🙁

    Carol I agree D3 is worth looking at as well – a good naturopath may be the answer to getting your step father onboard

    Anne

    #440138
    fluffy chook
    Member

    Hi Carol…Just thought I would update on Aunty..Uncle has to go into hospital for a knee replacement op and I was surprised when Aunty rang and told me about it and that she will be staying with family close by. It is a couple of months since I have spoken to her and, while she still doesn’t know what day it is and forgets names etc, there has been a definate improvement and slowing of her symptoms, ‘though don’t know for how long.

    Ggang – Uncle is the same …every time I speak to him he says how much he HATES getting old.:(

    Hugz Gianna – Lovely story

    #440139
    Carol
    Member

    Hi fluffy chook – good news about your aunt.:tup:

    This week the GP confirmed the diagnosis, so now there is less denial. Mum says she is terrified.

    I’ve ordered vitamins B12 and D (thanks, Anne). (Stepfather has agreed to administer.)

    As of yesterday, Mum was almost back to her stoic self, and enjoyed her great grandson’s second birthday.:D

    #440140
    Bobbee
    Member

    Jenny said:

    Sometimes I think that in one way, dementia may be a kindness to the person suffering from it (not other people around this person)? It can’t be easy to live with the fear of dying at any moment but some dementia sufferers are completely unaware that they are old and may die soon.

    My aunt is 86. She doesn’t remember much of anything any more and is child-like in her happiness, most of the time. She lives with her son and my mum looks after her a great deal.

    Mum caught my auntie running away from home the other day. She had packed many changes of underwear, a banana, an apple and a sandwich. When my mum asked her why she was running away, my aunt said because there was too much work to do at this place. She was probably going to walk up the street to my mum’s house where there is nothing to do because mum does it all. [Shy]

    Love your story Jenny. :hug::hug::hug:

    I have some small experience with folk with AD and I have seen how the ill person often enjoys one on one company even if they don’t know who you are.

    And, when visiting one particular lady who NEVER knew my name or anything about me, I always wore the same [rather bright-and-in-your-face] tracksuit.

    This lovely woman ‘knew’ the tracksuit and would half-rise from her seat when I entered the room. She would hesitate a bit because she was unsure but a smile would light up her face when I went to her and she would say “You are my friend aren’t you”. She always introduced me to the Nursing Home people as “My friend” even though she didn’t have a clue who I was.

    I know how difficult and emotionally draining it is when a beloved one no longer recognises you but if it is at all possible to create a ‘different’ connection between you then it may, perhaps, be a little bit easier to cope.

    Also , and I think someone else mentioned this, the staff at Nursing Homes are usually extremely poor in ‘time’ so if family can visit at meal times and help with feeding their loved ones I am sure this would be appreciated. [And you have the satisfaction of knowing that there is no rushing of the meal etc]

    I also totally agree with the others who have said not to force yourself to visit family suffering from AD if/when it becomes to much for you. We each can only do ‘what we can do’. :hug::hug::hug:

    I would suggest though that family members keep in regular touch with the Nursing Home, asking about the welfare of their loved one and so letting the NH people know that the family are still involved and keeping an eye on things.

    :hug::hug::hug:

    #440141
    Gianna
    Member

    Bobbee said:

    And, when visiting one particular lady who NEVER knew my name or anything about me, I always wore the same [rather bright-and-in-your-face] tracksuit.

    This lovely woman ‘knew’ the tracksuit and would half-rise from her seat when I entered the room. She would hesitate a bit because she was unsure but a smile would light up her face when I went to her and she would say “You are my friend aren’t you”. She always introduced me to the Nursing Home people as “My friend” even though she didn’t have a clue who I was.

    You have a beautiful heart Bobbee. :hug:

    That’s great news Fluffy Chook. :hug:

    I hope the vitamins help your mum Carol. :hug:

    #440142
    hermits
    Member

    Both my parents had dementia but used to drift into it and out of it. Some visite were fine and others Dad would be ‘out fishing’.

    If he had any infections he was worse.

    I found both Mum and dad ‘came back’ just before they died and we were able to have a beautiful time.

    I, too , visited a man in hospital who talked absolute gibberish but I sat and listened to him as if he was talking sense.

    One time he looked hard at me just as I was leaving and said ‘thank you my friend'” They were the only sensible words he apoke!

    I do wonder if people with this condition are more aware than they are able to communicate.

    #440143
    Lady Bee
    Keymaster

    My neighbour’s mother is suffering dementia (and all sorts of frailties) and I’ve sat with her at times and she seems to know who I am and will talk about lots of stuff, but it’s hard for her son who is her carer.

    A poem that I read somewhere, can’t remember where, may have been on here, but I’ve kept it because it touched something in me. Don’t know who wrote it, but thought I’d share it with you.

    Crabby Old Woman

    What do you see, nurses?……..What do you see?

    What are you thinking……when you’re looking at me?

    A crabby old woman……………not very wise?

    Uncertain of habit with faraway eyes?

    Who dribbles her food…….and makes no reply.

    When you say in a loud voice…..”I do wish you’d try!”

    Who seems not to notice…..the things that you do.

    And forever is losing a sock or a shoe?

    Who, resisting or not………..lets you do as you will,

    With bathing and feeding, the long day to fill?

    Is that what you’re thinking?…..Is that what you see?

    Then open your eyes, nurse……you’re not looking at me.

    I’ll tell you who I am, as I sit here so still,

    As I do at your bidding, as I eat at your will.

    I’m a small child of Ten……with a father and mother,

    Brothers and sisters……who love one another.

    A young girl of Sixteen………..with wings on her feet

    Dreaming that soon now…a lover she’ll meet.

    A bride soon at Twenty, my heart gives a leap.

    Remembering the vows……..that I promised to keep.

    At Twenty-Five, now……..I have young of my own.

    Who need me to guide……and a secure, happy home.

    A woman of Thirty………my young now grown fast,

    Bound to each other……..with ties that should last.

    At Forty, my children have grown and are gone,

    But my man is beside me……..to see I don’t mourn.

    At Fifty, once more babies play ’round my knee,

    Again, we know children…….. My loved one and me.

    Dark days are upon me………. My husband now dead.

    I look at the future…………..I shudder with dread.

    For my young are all rearing young of their own.

    And I think of the years…… And the love that I’ve known.

    I’m now an old woman………and nature is cruel.

    ‘Tis jest to make old age…….look like a fool.

    The body, it crumbles……….grace and vigour depart.

    There is now a stone……..where I once had a heart.

    But inside this old carcass……a young girl still dwells,

    And now and again……..my battered heart swells.

    I remember the joys…………..I remember the pain.

    And I’m loving and living………….life over again.

    I think of the years….all too few……gone too fast.

    And accept the stark fact……..that nothing can last.

    So open your eyes, people……….open and see.

    Not a crabby old woman. Look closer….see……..ME!!

    #440144

    Nice poem Lady B. Reminded me of the Elvis Costello song “Veronica” which was inspired by his grandmother having Alzheimer’s.

    Veronica

    Is it all in that pretty little head of yours?

    What goes on in that place in the dark?

    Well I used to know a girl and I could have sworn

    that her name was Veronica

    Well she used to have a carefree mind of her own

    and a delicate look in her eye

    These days I’m afraid she’s not even sure if her

    name is Veronica

    Chorus:

    Do you suppose, that waiting hands on eyes,

    Veronica has gone to hide?

    and all the time she laughs at those who shout

    her name and steal her clothes.

    Veronica, Veronica, Veronica

    Did the days drag by? Did the favours wane?

    Did he roam down the town all the while?

    did you wake from your dream, with a wolf at

    the door, reaching out for Veronica

    Well it was all of sixty-five years ago

    When the world was the street where she lived

    And a young man sailed on a ship in the sea

    With a picture of Veronica

    On the “Empress of India”

    And as she closed her eyes upon the world and

    picked upon the bones of last week’s news

    She spoke his name out loud again

    Chorus:

    Do you suppose, that waiting hands on eyes,

    Veronica has gone to hide?

    and all the time she laughs at those who shout

    her name and steal her clothes.

    Veronica, Veronica, Veronica

    Veronica sits in her favorite chair

    She sits very quiet and still

    And they call her a name that they never get right

    and if they don’t then nobody else will

    But she used to have a carefree mind of her own

    with a devilish look in her eye

    saying you can call me anything you like

    but my name is Veronica

    Chorus:

    Do you suppose, that waiting hands on eyes,

    Veronica has gone to hide?

    and all the time she laughs at those who shout

    her name and steal her clothes.

    Veronica, Veronica, Veronica

    #440145
    salli
    Member

    Every situation is totally different from one another.

    I am a carer and I had one very special ( well lots really) but this one was more so to me…She didn’t get many visits from her family as I guess it was to hard for them, not my business anyway…But in the later stages she recognised me when I would be in the room with her, not by name or anything like that, she never knew my name, but the fact that I was kind to her and was her friend! I only knew her for a few years, while she was in care.

    I disagree (only through personal experience) that people with memory dissorders like Alzheimers, don’t need you around, or know that you are around etc.

    People do know you are there and do need you :hug: I think so anyway. I sympathise with you and anyone touched by this disease and wish you all the very best outcome for you all. My thoughts are with you…..:hug:

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